I'm a perfectionist. And as far as I can remember, I've always been like that. For example, when I was…
What’s it like to be a full-time introvert and part-time shy?
For a long time, this adjective was troubling me. I felt like there was something wrong with me.
Why am I not able to participate in class even though I know the answer?
Why am I not enjoying small talks?
Why do I prefer to be alone instead of going out to nightclubs?
With time, I understood that there was nothing wrong with me:
I’m a full-time introvert
What does it mean?
It means that:
- You’re not craving for social interaction although you love hanging out with a couple of friends;
- You don’t like small talk but you’re a great listener and enjoy deep conversations;
- Sometimes you refuse to join a party because it drains so much your energy that you’d rather stay alone at home and read a book or watch a TV show (like Breaking Bad, best TV show ever ^^).
And I’m a part-time shy
You don’t like to be in the center of attention.
When I’m forced to it, for example, when doing a presentation, I’m feeling nervous and I start to imagine all kind of disastrous scenarios that are most unlikely to happen.
I remember 2 years ago I had to do my first presentation in English at work. It was not that big of a deal, it was like 10 min presentation. Nevertheless, I slept like nothing the night before and I felt like puking right before starting it.
In the end, all went well. I had colleagues who congratulated me and, as a perfectionist, it took me time to give myself some credit and to realize how proud I was to overcome my shyness.
But when it’s taking me by surprise, I’m speechless and I believe that anything that would come out of my mouth is total bullshit. So I just shut up and I feel so dumb…
It happened to me recently. Someone I barely knew asked me what type of coaching I was doing. My heart was pounding so fast and my voice was nowhere to be found. All I could do was to look to my boyfriend in complete desperation like “please help me here!”
Did I feel dumb?
Did I feel sorry for myself?
No. Instead of blaming myself for being a shy person I decided to get ready for the next time someone would ask me that question.
I know that I’m shy but I don’t make it an excuse to just sit there and do nothing.
I guess that’s one of my strengths as being a full-time introvert and part-time shy.
Read this if you’re a perfectionist and always beat yourself up when things are not perfect (which means everytime!)